Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 11 Day 12 Day 13 Day 14 Day 15 Day 16 Day 17 Day 18 Day 19 Day 20 Day 21 Day 22 Day 23 Day 24 Day 25 Day 26 Day 27 Day 28 Day 29 Day 30 Day 31 Day 32 Day 33 Day 34 Day 35 Day 36 Day 37 Day 38 Day 39 Day 40 Day 41 Day 42 Day 43 Day 44 Day 45 Day 46 Day 47 Day 48 Day 49 Day 50 Day 51 Day 52 Day 53 Day 54 Day 55 Day 56 Day 57 Day 58 Day 59

Aries: There's nothing more frustrating than an incredibly easy bridge question, posted on a newsgroup in a self-serving attempt to prove a point back home. Actually, there is. It's an incredibly easy bridge question which still elicits incorrect responses!

Taurus: You're so vain. I bet you think this bridge horoscope is about you. It's not. It's about Lucy McMerty of 8, Harper Drive, W8.

Gemini: Finesse the Jack.
What, you expected something more flamboyant? Ok then...
With Jupiter rising and a full moon on the cusp of the Great Bear, all Geminis will need to finesse the Jack if they want to make their contracts today. Better?

Cancer: They are indeed vexing questions. How can we stop bridge from dying out? How do we attract more young people to the game? How do we make it interesting and exciting and fun? I would think about this, but I think I'll go and play Final Fantasy XII instead.

Leo: Did you know that Bishkek is the capital of the Kyrgyz Republic? Oh, I'm sorry — I just thought you might actually want to learn something today. Tomorrow we'll be back to nonsensical ramblings for a horoscope!

Virgo: Why would you play strong twos when you can play Benji? Why would you play Benji when you can play a multi-2? Why would you play a multi-2 when you can play three weak twos and a non-stupid 2 system? Why would you go to the Natural History Museum when you can go to the zoo?

Libra: England beat Sri Lanka last night in the cricket World Cup and are now on track for the semi-finals. Well done the lads! [Oh please let me be right about a horoscope for once! —Ed]

Scorpio: We have a lot of poor bridge on this website and we're often asked what the ugliest example we ever saw was. I have to say that it's this.

Sagittarius: A friend of yours was born on this day. Go out and get drunk with him — that's what we're going to do.

Capricorn: Happy Easter one and all! Except Brian — I ain't wishing you a happy Easter. Not after what happened last time. You bastard.

Aquarius: Sloths would actually be awesome bridge players if they didn't keep getting slow play penalties. No, they'll never make it on the international scene, but they will always be able to get coaching jobs.

Pisces: Have you ever noticed how the four of diamonds is more likely to be held by the least beautiful person at the table? I'm not saying it's a certainty — more like about 40% of the time — but it might be enough to sway the odds in case you're wondering which 4-0 diamond break to protect against.