Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 11 Day 12 Day 13 Day 14 Day 15 Day 16 Day 17 Day 18 Day 19 Day 20 Day 21 Day 22 Day 23 Day 24 Day 25 Day 26 Day 27 Day 28 Day 29 Day 30 Day 31 Day 32 Day 33 Day 34 Day 35 Day 36 Day 37 Day 38 Day 39 Day 40 Day 41 Day 42 Day 43 Day 44 Day 45 Day 46 Day 47 Day 48 Day 49 Day 50 Day 51 Day 52 Day 53 Day 54 Day 55 Day 56 Day 57 Day 58 Day 59

Aries: Today you will fall in love with one of the players at the local club. The resulting chaos due to one twelth of all bridge players suddenly getting amorous will cause several deaths and a whole lot of embarrassment.

Taurus: Your performances will take a nosedive next week, just as the main national congress starts. Bad luck, or a result of a 200 mile drive followed by a huge drinking session on the first night? Who knows?

Gemini: Please stop writing to the great and the good with your insane ideas about how the laws of bridge might be changed to make the game simpler and more accessible to newcomers. Write them to us, so we can ridicule you for the entertainment of the world!

Cancer: You will go into the tank on Thursday night when declaring an unmakable 3NT contract. Save yourself the stress, trouble and time by simply going off quickly with dignity, rather than pretending that staring at the cards for three minutes will somehow let you make.

Leo: Pride comes before a fall. God opposes the proud, but gives his grace to the humble. My prediction: you're going to have a bad week, and that's before we even start to consider the arrogance...

Virgo: After a few drinks the world is ready to be changed for the better. After a few more, and some disrupted sleep, the world is ready to go away and never come back. So life is revealed to be a balance. Just like there is a balance to be struck between being aggressive and opening 2 with 9 8 6 5 3.

Libra: Love is in the air! Fortunately, that doesn't affect the balance of Oxygen, Nitrogen and other minor gaseous elements in the air; so breathing, declaring and bidding will continue unaffected. Defence will be a problem, however, as there is no defence to falling in love.

Scorpio: It's late and I'm angry. Tomorrow I'll be sorry for writing this. But really, you played like a complete **** tonight, and it was a complete waste of my time.

Sagittarius: It's easier to leave than to be left behind. Another hard week then, but bare this in mind: everyone is born, lives a while and then dies and returns to dust. No, that doesn't make things any better, but at least everyone is at your level now.

Capricorn: After the holidays it's back to work. Does this mean less time for bridge? Not at all! If means less time for the things that you really should be doing instead.

Aquarius: After a moment's reflection it will occur to you that bidding 5 was a mistake, especially in a pairs game. But your embarrassment will be offset by partner's decision to bid 6, because it is a pairs game.

Pisces: Please start opening your longest suit, rather than worrying about rebids on 4-5 hands and opening the four bagger. You know who you are.