Horoscopes

Day 37

Aries: I adore you. You are the light of my life, the most beautiful creature to walk under God's great heavens, my darling, my one, my love. But if the King is sitting over you and the finesse fails, our relationship may start to sour.

Taurus: You will have a bad day on Friday. That doesn't make you a bad player. You will have a good day on Tuesday and that doesn't make you a good player. It might say something about the opposition on those nights though.

Gemini: In spite of the frustration, it isn't good to swear under your breath at the table. Save it for the pub, where you can swear with impunity at your mates.

Cancer: Please note that presentation is important. Placing the cards on the table so that all the cards are clearly on display is useful — especially if your goal is to avoid bizarre declarer plays based on twelve cards not including the heart king.

Leo: Maths skills are transferable and useful in everyday life. Counting, for example, is a good skill to have mastered, and realising that you hold a 17 count and not a 20 count would improve your bidding no end.

Virgo: "What is the point of bidding on this hand?" you will be asked. It has no great shape, few values and no particular lead to recommend. The answer to that question is simple: you have a 10 card fit and on this deal it works out really well.

Libra: Pain is a big part of your life at the moment. Illness and a failing body, relationships gone bad, bridge partners who can't be bothered to lead your suit, thereby giving declarer the contract...

Scorpio: Note: when playing rubber bridge at 20p per 100 it will result in your losing £2.20 when going for 1100. It will also cost me that, so please don't.

Sagittarius: As the post congress bridge hangover fades you will start to think about going to the bridge club for a game. That "never again" feeling will be replaced by thinking a game of bridge is quite a good idea.

Capricorn: When playing transfers over 1NT it is customary to break the transfer with good support rather than without it. One off success when 3NT makes on a mis-defence and a 3-3 spade break does not make your super-reject ideas sound.

Aquarius: "What did you hold on the last hand? Really? You could make the contract if you duck the opening lead." Well THANK YOU smarty-pants. Double dummy I too can make more tricks.

Pisces: Your slightly desperate switch on Tuesday will work out well and defeat 4

. Your slightly desperate switch on Wednesday will concede an overtrick. You win some, you lose some, but as both these games are match pointed pairs, what's with the desperate switches anyway?