Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 11 Day 12 Day 13 Day 14 Day 15 Day 16 Day 17 Day 18 Day 19 Day 20 Day 21 Day 22 Day 23 Day 24 Day 25 Day 26 Day 27 Day 28 Day 29 Day 30 Day 31 Day 32 Day 33 Day 34 Day 35 Day 36 Day 37 Day 38 Day 39 Day 40 Day 41 Day 42 Day 43 Day 44 Day 45 Day 46 Day 47 Day 48 Day 49 Day 50 Day 51 Day 52 Day 53 Day 54 Day 55 Day 56 Day 57 Day 58 Day 59

Aries: In the pleasant shade of a long and sunny summer evening there is a peace and tranquility that can only come from sitting indoors and playing bridge. Don't even think about staying away from the club to 'enjoy' the good weather: the enjoyment will turn to dust in your eyes as you realise you have sunburn.

Taurus: On Friday, drink a gin and tonic before you even start the movement then remember to drink another after the first round is over. This is the only way you will have enough 'Dutch courage' to bid the slam on board 17.

Gemini: Your honeymoon period as new club director comes to an abrupt end on Tuesday when you fail to announce a skip move after round 6. The resulting kafuffle causes several boards to be voided and, more significantly, leads Mr. Jennings to have a heart attack.

Cancer: The mid session cup of coffee will taste that much better after scoring +800 on board 9. See — sometimes you can take a penalty out of your opponent's pre-empt while playing take-out doubles.

Leo: Warning: Titus is moving into Capricorn. Your strong club auctions will go badly for the next, er, 5 years given the way your partnership plays.

Virgo: "Pressure? What Pressure?! I can handle the pressure!" you shout. Although this is intended as a jest, your partner and team-mates (not to mention your opponents) feel that you really can't handle the pressure of an extra time deciding stanza. And with your stars being the way they are, we have to agree.

Libra: 58%, 67% and 62% in the next three weeks. Yup, you guessed it — the winning score at your local club will vary by quite some margin.

Scorpio: You read your horoscope every day and what good does it do you? Seriously, we're looking for feedback so we can improve the service we give you! More positive comments? Negative ones? You're the boss and the stars will do as they're told if only you tell us what they should do!

Sagittarius: All bridge players should avoid partnering a Cancer next week as everything they do will go horribly wrong. Unlucky Elliot, you won't get a game this week.

Capricorn: Your stars indicate spades. Your partner's stars strongly suggest hearts. This is going to be a very competitive auction.

Aquarius: The handicapping at your local club is a complete joke and unfairly discriminates against you — there is a maximum add-on of 12% and this leaves you with no realistic chance of winning the event!

Pisces: Christmas is coming and it is time to think about all those people who are not as fortunate as you and do some giving: at the club party, give a top to all those nice old ladies who give you so many good scores all year round! Just try to make it look natural...