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Aries: On board 3 this evening you will spot your first compound squeeze and plan the play from the outset to arrive at the desired matrix. Unfortunately, your right-hand opponent will discard the A for no good reason at all, after which you can boringly cash all the top tricks. A good day for knowledge being its own reward.

Taurus: Bidding 5 over a cold 4 will get you a top on Thursday, but should not encourage you to talk at length about other successful sacrifices you've made. Some people believe that animals have feelings too, you know, and not everyone worships the blood god.

Gemini: Your decision last night to raise partner to the three level with three card club support (rather than bidding either of your four card majors) may have resulted in a hefty bottom, but partner was at fault. Persevere, and he will eventually be forced to stop psyching his openings. Thus is progress wrought.

Cancer: The importance of tempo in teams matches will become clear to you this week; in particular, try to ensure partner is at the bar during the post-mortem of boards 15-17. It might also be wise to head for the Gents in time to avoid explaining your part in the train-wreck that was board 22.

Leo: A light third seat 1NT opening on an 11 count with nice intermediates is all well and good, but try to avoid accepting partner's invite. No matter how many times you do it, you're simply not going to find her with a useful 14 points — and with Jupiter crossing Saturn you're destined to go off. Again.

Virgo: Venus is rising, and the time is right for more honesty in your relationships. You might start by responding correctly to Blackwood, thus obviating the need to raise partner's signoff.

Libra: Feeling tired and jaded? Perhaps now is the time for change. Try taking three convention cards with you, and swapping after each hand has been played. This should keep partner on his toes and generate some swings — which, let's face it, can only be good news.

Scorpio: Fortune favours the brave, so try investigating slam with auctions like 1NT-6 or 1-7. If successful, smile knowingly and mutter about having placed the values in your partner's hand. As ever, partner will tend to have the wrong hand for your contract, but avoid the temptation to scream "How can you open 1NT without a heart stop?!" and go down with good grace.

Sagittarius: Whatever the evidence suggests, Mrs Monkton is probably not on a prescription course of hard drugs, and the atmosphere at the table will probably not benefit from you suggesting it. To this end, stay well away from the surprisingly well-stocked and reasonably-priced drinks cabinet and just smile gently as she talks about The Magic Roundabout throughout the hand.

Capricorn: This is the great truth of congress swiss pairs bridge: you travel 150 miles to play in an 80 table event, and then play against your regular team-mates from back home.

Aquarius: "Could do better" and "has potential but fails to concentrate in class." This was what your teachers wrote in your very last school report, but it is strangely apt for your recent bridge play.

Pisces: Tuesday will be one of those days where everything goes right: the result will be a 76% score at local club. DON'T let the "why couldn't this happen last week in the simultaneous pairs" thought even enter your head; enjoy the result for what it is.