Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 11 Day 12 Day 13 Day 14 Day 15 Day 16 Day 17 Day 18 Day 19 Day 20 Day 21 Day 22 Day 23 Day 24 Day 25 Day 26 Day 27 Day 28 Day 29 Day 30 Day 31 Day 32 Day 33 Day 34 Day 35 Day 36 Day 37 Day 38 Day 39 Day 40 Day 41 Day 42 Day 43 Day 44 Day 45 Day 46 Day 47 Day 48 Day 49 Day 50 Day 51 Day 52 Day 53 Day 54 Day 55 Day 56 Day 57 Day 58 Day 59

Aries: Think: don't drive when tired — take a break. And don't play bridge when tired — you won't be able to think.

Taurus: No, I can't lend you a pen — you should bring your own pen to the bridge club. It isn't my job to lend you a pen. And incidentally, the phrase 'can a lend a pen' doesn't really mean 'can a borrow a pen'. Your poor English does you no favours.

Gemini: Consider: either you play bridge tonight and don't get any work done, or you don't play bridge and... don't get any work done. Your choice.

Cancer: After spending the day shouting at people, trying to make them do what you say, you will spend the evening directing and quietly trying to make people do what do. It turns out the latter is more irritating, and you get paid for the former, so quit directing and don't quit your job.

Leo: More people should go home and do some work — it would help them learn. But sadly they can't be bothered and thus they shall remain rubbish. Should you just live with that or keep trying to get people to think about their game?

Virgo: And the angel of death entered, and the idiots in front of him perished. Fantasy or fact? It could be fact if you make it happen, but better to play in a large weak field and sometimes get jipped than have no-one to play against.

Libra: As life becomes repetitive and tiring, try something new at the bridge table: a new partner; a new bidding system perhaps? Steady on there — just sit North and have the pleasure of filling in the traveller.

Scorpio: When you hear people snipping from somewhere behind you, just remember this: they are not very good at the game, and you will do far better than them in the long run.

Sagittarius: Having a drink at the end of the day to 'take the edge off' probably suggests you have alcoholic tendencies. But you've been doing that at the end of bridge sessions for years and that was considered 'socialising' so what's the problem?

Capricorn: After a long hard day at the office, it's nice to unwind with a fun and friendly game of bridge. So playing against a misery-guts like you is not at all what I want. Cheer up, it might (never/actually) happen. Depending on what "it" is.

Aquarius: "How good a defence was that?" you enthusiastically ask your bar-mates, after taking 4 three off when the field is generally making it. I will pre-emptively suggest it is about 76cm good, illustrating once again the importance of units in the answer to questions.

Pisces: Opening 1NT may be boring, but sometimes you have to do dull things. Sorry, that is just the way life is...