Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 11 Day 12 Day 13 Day 14 Day 15 Day 16 Day 17 Day 18 Day 19 Day 20 Day 21 Day 22 Day 23 Day 24 Day 25 Day 26 Day 27 Day 28 Day 29 Day 30 Day 31 Day 32 Day 33 Day 34 Day 35 Day 36 Day 37 Day 38 Day 39 Day 40 Day 41 Day 42 Day 43 Day 44 Day 45 Day 46 Day 47 Day 48 Day 49 Day 50 Day 51 Day 52 Day 53 Day 54 Day 55 Day 56 Day 57 Day 58 Day 59

Aries: A helpful tip: if you don't understand how a convention works, find out from a senior player or don't play that convention.

Taurus: Can you hear the empty spaces? No? That's because instead of yacking, you should be devising an opening lead...

Gemini: In a completely scratch partnership, there are always lots of tools that you are used to having to hand which you can now not be certain you have available. This is similar to my using a butcher's knife to open a tin of beans on Monday, after moving house and not being able to find the can opener.

Cancer: Rumours of your demise have been somewhat overblown. True you haven't been at the club for a while, and you haven't been talking to anyone — but there are surely other people at the club who are more likely to die than you!

Leo: Living alone means you can walk around the house wearing nothing but underpants. This is all well and good, but it isn't an image that I want to have of my on-line partner. Unless your user name, Sexy Goddess, means you are something other than a bulging, middle-aged, single male.

Virgo: In the madness of the moment, in weakness, you will do something really daft. Waking up tomorrow morning you will realise you actually have to play with Mr. Jennings, and you will regret it, sincerely.

Libra: Looking though the loft, you will find a box with some old convention cards. Man, did you used to play some crazy stuff! What ever happened to those crazy university days? Simple answer to that one: you realised that all that crazy stuff got you worse scores than when you didn't bother with it.

Scorpio: Having acquired the nickname Junior Welsh Nazi, you will try to have your boyfriend acquire the nickname Captain Mammoth — much to the amusement of your drunken friends. You know who you are!

Sagittarius: Why is there no poorbridge.com cheque-book and pen? Why are you even asking yourself this question? You should be concentrating on making nine tricks in no-trumps!

Capricorn: Yeah, yeah, so "What's the worst that could happen?" has been your personal mantra over the past six months. That may work well when taking up a new hobby or approaching beautiful women in nightclubs but at the bridge table the answer is clear, and it rhymes with bourteen-hundred.

Aquarius: Today you will win the Gold Cup Final. What, you expected something funny? I just calls it as I sees it.

Pisces: As you listen to your friend complaining that all the good looking men at her local gym are taken, you realise that the same applies to your bridge club. Kinda like saying that all the porcupines on Mars are purple.