Sometimes in this job you have the privilege to test-drive a truly great machine: magnificent pedigree, double-barrelled cylinders providing unsurpassed power to a wonderfully constructed poorbridge engine. I mean, the potential acceleration from good score to bad score in this vehicle is so high that we can't be sure if it can be measured in m/s2! So it was with a sense of sadness bordering on melancholy that I received the news that the production team at poorbridge.com had asked James Ewington to take the GS-890 out for a spin in Edinburgh, rather than me. Even more irritating was the realisation on Saturday night that James had really put the GS-890 through its paces, was "truly impressed with its phenomenal acceleration" but would probably "need some time to recover". I thus had to write the PBOTW myself!

After some testing that can, no doubt, be read on other (inferior) bridge-related humour websites, the GS-890 was pushed to its full potential — and it didn't disappoint. Here is the hand in question:

SQ J 3
DA Q J 8 6 3
C8 7 6



SA 10 5 2
H8 7
DK 9 4
C10 5 4 2

The auction was going so well! A tight competitive auction had got as far as 2S, with an out-gunned North-South getting to a good spot which left East-West with a tricky decision. Clearly 3H will make and 4H might (history doesn't record their hands), but the pair, lacking experience, might well have let the matter rest there.

But we were not to underestimate the power of the GS-890. Its fearless engineering: a powerful engine coupled — apparently — with no brakes, felt that a balanced 9 losing trick 7 count wasn't worth a game invite so much as a jump to 4S! Low doubleton in hearts and all! This looks like one that is about to take a tumble at the devil's bend, shooting off like a bat out of hell, Crash! Boom! Bang! [That's enough weak rock music references — Ed], but actually it might get out for -100 or -300. Well that's not quite the story we have to tell. You see West, for some reason, led a diamond...

For this to be a jammy-contract-that-happens-to-make story, trumps need to be 3-3 with the king onside, and the GS-890 wasted no time in grasping at the possible big plus score by winning the lead in dummy. But then someone put his foot down on the throttle and wow! A low spade was played from dummy to the Ace and then a low one back, losing to East's King. The defence didn't waste a second opportunity, and cashed three clubs and the heart for +300 points. And yes, trumps were 3-3.

So there you have it: the GS-890 manages to accelerate from +590 to -300 in a single hand, and it is from this that it gets its name.