Yesterday I gave you the first excerpt from my private diary, revealing my most secret inner desires, my frustrations, my passions. Today we conclude. I hope this gives you some insight into the workings of poorbridge.com. No longer will you assume that we're a well-oiled machine, religiously scouring the world for poor bridge. In actual fact, we just doss about playing bridge badly and hope that other people can submit lots of articles so we don't have to. Email Xebon if you have any!

Sunday 22nd April. Day Two of the National Pairs Finals! We slowly move up the field, encountering the odd bit of poor bridge along the way. This hand featured some truly bizarre bidding, but maybe I'm just bitter that it worked out for them:

East/West had the auction entirely to themselves. West opened 1 — fair enough. East then, for reasons known only to himself, decided to eschew his four card spade suit, opting instead to bid his three card club suit, 2. No, we have no idea either. West bid 3 and East liked the look of his diamond stopper so didn't bother showing his heart support — 3NT. West hadn't had enough yet and tried 4NT which is obviously RKCB, though it wasn't too clear what trumps were. East responded 5, West tried 6 and East converted. To 6, you assume? Nah, to 6NT — truly a man desperate to hog the bidding.

Now if South leads a diamond this is three off, quite deservedly so. Sadly, South believed the opposition a little too much and tried a spade. When the hearts behaved that was 12 tricks and a bottom for our intrepid heroes.

Still, we ended the weekend in second place so it wasn't all poor bridge.

Monday 23rd April. Our Wessex League team played Balliol today and got roundly spanked. I didn't play; I was instead having a jolly good laugh at a girl who was scared of tennis.

Tuesday 24th April. Having been asked for a game by an ex-colleague of mine, I was looking forward to an evening of superior bridge — great minds locked in an endlessly diverting battle. Sadly, it was a bit like watching Friends — quite good fun, but not very clever and with some really annoying characters. I'm sure my partner will forgive me for sharing his effort on the first board of the evening:

The bidding doesn't much matter but we ended up in 6 by North. It's not the world's best slam, but when East leads a diamond to the Ace and West continues a diamond, you winning the King, it's now just a matter of picking up the trumps. Oh dear, you all think, did your partner really play for the drop in trumps instead of finessing? What a shame. Nope, while that would be poor it wouldn't really be PBOTW material. What he actually did was decide he wanted to pitch a diamond on a club straight away, thus incurring a club ruff. He then played for the drop in trumps and went two off.

We also witnessed a great piece of complaining. The bidding had been thus:

East had a singleton diamond and five clubs to the Ten and was roundly chastised by his partner for converting to 6 over 5. Presumably only because 5 would have made and 6 was one off. I saw him later in a Middle-Eastern souk offering to trade results at a very good price.

Wednesday 25th April. Another league match tonight, another stonking defeat. This time I was playing, however. Over the first twelve boards my partner and I had eleven plus scores. We missed no games, we missed no slams, we missed no obvious doubles. Our one minus score was a completely cold game the other way that might even be worth an IMP as oppo could have scored an overtrick. So, that'll be -30 on the half, team. Splendid. Always good to go for 1400 in a partscore auction. Also good to go for 1400 in a sacrifice against game with neither side vulnerable. However, I silently rejoice at our 0-20 drubbing as it means we'll be relegated to division two next year — a division where we don't look quite so out of our depth.

Thursday 26th April. Xebon on the phone again this morning, fretting over his latest love. No, not a woman (or, indeed, a man) but Chess Boxing. Xebon isn't very good at chess, and I once saw him cry with fright when a greengrocer threw a stick of celery into a box that was vaguely near him. Still, he gets fixated on something and there's no stopping him. It'll be Bossaball next. Tonight was Championship Pairs night at the YC. Luke and I do well for a change.

Take a look at the West hand for a second. When your partner opens a weak no-trump and you put this down as dummy, you're thankful it hasn't been doubled and really will be very happy if partner can bring in seven tricks. Down two might not be so bad as surely oppo can make something? Luke went to get a pint and left me to it. He came back just as I was securing my ninth trick in the endgame. How so, I was asked later. Well, I'll tell you.

Low spade lead, to the 8 — K — A. Good start. Then comes a nice little coup as I lead the Q, ducked around. Another heart to the King and a third heart, crashing the Jack and Ace. Lovely. South then tries a diamond, I insert the Ten and North slightly oddly plays the Ace. More lovely. A diamond is continued. I cash winners ending in hand and throw South in with my fourth spade to lead away from his A. Nine tricks made. "Bid up partner." "Thanks for the pint." "Oh look, someone went four off."

Sunday 29th April. And so we come to the end of this little fly on the wall documentary. Hopefully it has been eye-opening. Tomorrow I'm off on holiday, but I've left you with these articles, another one next week from Nick Smith and a wonderful PTAC from Chris Cooper which I'm sure you'll enjoy. Be strong.