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Poor Bridge of the Week
Barrie's Poorbridge Stories I
By Barrie Partridge

Barrie Partridge rocks. I was wondering to myself earlier on this week what to do for PBOTW when into my inbox pops an email with 7 poorbridge stories! It was a lazy man's dream, I can assure you. So over the next month or two we'll show Barrie's articles in four installments. They're short, but they're very sweet.

Pulling Out the Wrong Bid

This was Board 14 on Friday, 6 April 1990 at the Sheffield Bridge Club evening duplicate. I was sitting East and Rob Turner was sitting West. East had dealt at Love All and the contract at all the other 16 tables was 4H making with either one or two overtricks. 6H by East is an excellent contract but not so easy to reach after 1H — 1S — 2C as the field was generally of intermediate or less-experienced players, and it needed some very special bidding even by our intrepid pair to reach this slam!


S8 2
HJ 7 5
DQ J 9 5
C10 8 6 3
SA 10 9 7 4 3
HA Q 8 6
D10 8
CK
DIR
SQ
HK 10 9 4 2
DK 6 3
CA Q 7 4
SK J 6 5
H3
DA 7 4 2
CJ 6 5 2

WestNorthEastSouth
RobBarrie
1HPass
1SPass2S1Pass
3C2Pass3D3Pass
4NT4Pass5C5Pass
5S6Pass6C7Pass
6H8PassPass9Pass

Notes
(1)I thought that I had bid 2C and was unaware that I had actually bid 2S until the very end of the auction. Meanwhile, the following farce ensued:
(2)We've got a fit in both majors. There could be a slam here. I'll ask about the minors.
(3)Ah! A club fit! Maybe I should pass, but I'll just try a Fourth Suit Force to look for 3NT.
(4)Ah! Partner's got a feature in diamonds! It's time for Blackwood!
(5)Now why has partner responded to my enquiry with his own enquiry? He cannot be looking for slam when his 3C bid was only a mild invitation to game. I must discourage! 5C shows no aces and is the agreed suit anyway!
(6)No aces, eh? I'd better stop in 5S, the agreed suit.
(7)Why on earth has partner bid 5S? We have agreed clubs! I hope my ace is worth something.
(8)Why on earth has partner bid 6C? Something is very wrong here! Let's just try hearts.
(9)Now why has partner returned to hearts, my original suit? Ah well, I've got to stop here - there's nowhere else to go!

After a club lead, I set up the spades and was the only player to make all 13 tricks!


Grand Bidding


SA K 8 5
HK 6 4
DA K 9 2
C8 4
DIR
S9 6 2
H—
D8 4
CA K Q J 10 7 3 2

It was no secret that I was the only person to bid and make a Grand slam on this board from the May Day 1992 Swiss Pairs at Sheffield Bridge Club. But I had to admit that I hadn't a clue what I was doing half the time! My partner, Mike Read, had opened 1S and, over my 2C response, rebid 3NT.

We were playing so many conventions that I managed to forget how to ask for aces, not that asking for aces seems a wonderfully good idea with a void anyway, but this is Poor Bridge!

I bid 4C, not knowing whether it was natural and forcing, or ace asking. Mike replied 4D. This could not be 0 or 4 aces so had to be a cue bid! (This was also confirmed by the lack of an alert by Mike, but this unauthorised information was unnecessary!) The 4D bid did show that partner's values were in the right places, so I bid 4NT. This had to be for aces! Mike alerted (as per old Orange Book) and bid 5NT! What was that? Ah, yes! I had completely forgotten that we were playing Roman Blackwood! Still, it usefully pin-pointed partner's aces as being in spades and diamonds, so maybe it wasn't such a silly idea to bid Blackwood after all. But the bidding had reached a level where asking for Kings was out of the question, that is, if I could remember how to do it. I bid 7C.

When West led a small heart and dummy went down, I wished that I had settled for 6NT. But I played low from dummy and the Ace appeared. What had West managed to underlead? Yes! He had underled HQ J! Aarg!