Some bridge play is like fine steak — refined, elegant and satisfying. Some hands are the spare ribs — you know it's wrong, but it just feels so right. And there are the sausage hands — the ones where you carved everything up so badly that you end up trying to salvage anything you can from the carnage. Guess which category the hand below falls into?
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For the benefit of all concerned (and to allow me to comment freely) I shall protect the identities of the butchers in the, err, auction on this board.
West | North | East | South |
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2NT | |||
Pass | 3 | Pass | 3NT |
Pass | 41 | Pass | 52 |
Pass | 6 | Pass | Pass |
X | AP |
Notes | |
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(1) | Gerber |
(2) | Err... |
2NT was 20-22; 3 asked for a five or four card major; and 3NT denied both. So far, so... oh no, hold on. 20-22? After getting a second opinion, I can indeed confirm that the South hand fails, comfortably, to fall into that range. Perhaps it was some kind of pre-empt.
North, having found at least an eight card fit, now decides that with a seven loser hand opposite a 2NT opening, slam might be on. Obviously partner's values in diamonds are unlikely to be of any use, so it's "invoke Gerber" o'clock. I guess that if partner has all four Aces then there might be chances.
The next great mystery is the 5 response. Whacked on the table like a cleaver, with both gusto and a healthy measure of disgust, its meaning is an enigma, wrapped inside a... well, you know. 4 (showing two aces) would seem to describe the hand slightly better, but as a certain junior once said "if you're embarrassed by how bad your first bid was, then it's often best to psyche your second..." North is delighted that South has all the Aces and presumably something extra (K? A maximum? Who knows.) and duly raises to the slam.
6 has some problems — and West knows it. He doubles with glee, and cashes the Ace of Spades and continues with another spade. Clearly NS are heading for -500 on this board — but it's OK, declarer has an escape plan. Winning the second spade in hand (key play), declarer returns to table with the K and ruffs a spade in hand (both defenders following).
A spade!
In hand!
The quality of this line should not be lightly dismissed. Ace of spades from Ax is not unreasonable as a lead (in which case off walks another trick, laughing at the ironies of life), and we also seem to be working our way towards some sort of trump disaster.
A small diamond is ruffed on the table, and another spade is ruffed, this time with the J after East declines to ruff in. AK of diamonds pitching two clubs and a third diamond ruffed puts declarer in the excellent position of having Q 9 7 5 on the table to lead away from. The Queen is called for (!), which runs to West's K. The defenders have a full count of the hand now, and with 10 8 in East's hand and the stiff A in West's, Declarer loses a third trump trick, for -800.
Quite impressive! The full layout is:
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As you can see, 4 is quite a good contract, and on the same defence North can cash AKQ of diamonds, pitching two spades and a club, then attempt to play trumps for just two losers (far from impossible) to make ten tricks. Two other people in the room had managed to make a mess of this hand; one was one off doubled in 4 and one was two off (!!) undoubled, also in 4.
Wiping meat from her face, North berated South. "What are you doing bidding slam with that hand? You know all my points are in diamonds, and your hand is rubbish!" Not, perhaps, the most incisive of analysis...