Although I've been playing bridge on and off for nearly twenty years, I'm well aware that I lack the talent and concentration required to advance much beyond the level of decent club player. But that suits me fine; I try not to let the bad results get me down, and I'm happy when the successes come. This hand represents part of what will probably remain the peak of my bridge career, reaching the final of the midweek Knock Out Teams at Brighton 2005. Partnering Phil Smith, with Geraint Harker and Bryony Youngs as team mates, we found ourselves in the semi-final, where our experience was dwarfed by that of our opponents: Frances Hinden, Jeffrey Allerton, Jon Cooke, and Graham Osborne.

After the first 8-board stanza, we were down by 33 IMPs. It looked like a spannering was in the works, but we had some luck in the second stanza when oppo bid two good slams which failed to make, while we stopped in game on both occasions, and this left us just a dozen IMPs behind going into the third set. By the time I picked up the last hand of the match, the result was still very much in the balance.

In first seat at red, I held:

Playing 5-card spades, I elect to open 1 to get this aspect of my hand across immediately before the opponents used their favourable vulnerability to take up bidding room. Sure enough, Jon overcalls 2 and Phil bids 2. I show my club suit when the bidding comes back to me, and Phil tries 3NT. I enter the tank for a while, but decide that 3NT has no hope unless Phil has the A which I can't guarantee, and our 5-2 heart fit might play better anyway. Unfortunately, Phil doesn't think so, and puts me back into spades, where the contract rests.

The full deal is:

When the K is led, I'm not overly thrilled by dummy. For one thing, Phil does have the A, meaning we have 8 top tricks in 3NT and it seems certain that a ninth can be found in the heart suit or with the Q. But since I only "rescued" from 3NT because Phil had shown five hearts he doesn't hold, I know I can win the post mortem. Anyway, it's clear that I have to lose a diamond and at least two spades, so my only hope is for spades to be 3-3. When Graham plays the 8 on the first trick, Jon takes my Five for a true card and switches to the K, possibly afraid of a club ruff on table. I win this and lead a low spade. West plays the 10 and when East thinks before playing low, indicating that he still holds precisely two cards (since West must have the Queen), I know I've got 10 tricks in the bag. I play it out, and feel obliged to apologise to the opponents before thanking them for the game as they too start to realise just how filthy the contract is. So bad, in fact, that later in the pub, Phil declares it to be "Pot Noodle" filthy.

We won the game by 6 IMPs. As I said, probably the high point of my bridge career. And I have Poor Bridge to thank for it!

It seems clear that 3NT is a better spot, which we can reach by a number of routes (e.g. Phil can double to show only four hearts, and I will leave 3NT alone). But how does 3NT actually play? The defence is likely to start with a diamond to the Ace, then the K which must be ducked. West is likely to switch to a club in an attempt to limit communications. Although it looks like declarer can duck a spade in an attempt to play for a 3-3 break, and then fall back on the heart finesse, a second round of clubs will eliminate the entries to unblock the heart suit. Since the finesse is more likely than a 3-3 spade break, the best line is to take the finesse now and, because the club must be won in the South hand to preserve an entry to the long heart, the finesse must be taken through West. Unfortunately, cashing the K and running the Jack loses to East, who can return a spade. If this is ducked, a diamond provides the setting trick while, if it is won, it eliminates the entry to the clubs after they are unblocked. So 3NT can only be made by taking the inferior line of an equal spade split, rather than the heart finesse, whereas 4 forces declarer to play for the 3-3 spade break. So Phil's poor bid causes me to rescue from a decent (50%) contract which won't make, to a poor (36%) one which does.

Of course, 4 goes off if West continues with diamonds at trick two. Although I can ruff the second round of the suit and play on trumps, East can ruff the third round of diamonds with the J, either winning the trick (if I've played Ace and another trump) or promoting West's three trumps to winners (if I started with a low spade). But this requires West to play his partner for Jxx, and hence for me to have an Ace-empty five-card suit, which doesn't seem likely on the bidding, does it?