The day or so after a large EBU Congress always seems to follow a set pattern. First, there's the deflation after yet another event where you didn't get the top results that you clearly deserve. Then there's the sheer exhaustion from three or four days of constant bridge playing, bridge talk, bridge diet (booze, greasy breakfast and pub food), bridge exercise (i.e. none) and fitful bridge-filled nights because it's hard to sleep when you're thinking about how badly partner defended that 4 contract. Then comes the weary trip back to work (where your colleagues have all had a nice relaxing long weekend) to find that you haven't quite left the scars of the weekend behind because a) your partner has posted seventeen hands on your favourite forum to find out how badly you misplayed them, and b) the poor bridge stories start doing the email rounds. This week's article stems from several of such emails, all detailing the same hand from the Easter Festival Swiss Pairs. I thought it was amusing, so I hope you do too.

We kick off gently with Chris and Greg's efforts with these East/West cards. After the bidding starts 1 — 1, Chris has a decision to make. In his own words:

So Cooper in the saddle and he can't decide what to bid. Splintering with a stiff ace is pretty poor. Bidding 4 seems a bit wet. Not quite enough clubs to bid 4 (besides, partner will probably pass knowing my luck). I then found the master bid. 4 — ostensibly showing a void. Well, a stiff ace is a bit like a void, I guess. In my poor bridge addled brain, this seemed like a winning bid to me. Funnily enough, partner was dissuaded from bidding more as his hand has been rendered absolutely useless, but that wasn't to stop me and so we quickly found ourselves in 5, two off when partner attempted to discard losers on the diamonds. Not good.

No, not good, but it seems you got away lightly.

Luke Porter's opponents managed to stop quietly at the four level but this didn't dissuade him from going for the jugular and doubling for blood. This was well justified when Luke ruffed the second diamond to cash a spade before it was pitched and thus took the contract two off. Unfortunately, revoking carries its own penalties and this had to be adjusted back to an ugly -590.

At my own table, we watched this auction unfold against us:

West was clearly on a mission to bid a slam regardless of his partner's attempts to dissuade him, and who were we to complain? The spade lead was won by the A and declarer ruffed the third club with 10! When I could ruff a diamond low (on the third round!), that gave me four trump tricks and +500 to the good guys.

However, this has all been a mere bagatelle compared with the carnage witnessed at the fourth of our show tables. Watch and wonder:

The emailer's original comment on the events at this table is a picture of glass-half-full optimism: to their credit, they found the correct line for ten tricks!