Since this article is going live at 11pm on Christmas Day, we highly doubt that anybody is going to actually pay it any attention. Also, we can't really be bothered to write a long one for you as we're all still recovering. So I'm sure you'll forgive us if this is the shortest PBOTW on record. Personally, I think the poorness of the convention more than makes up for the shortness of the article.

In a local teams-of-eight match, the following conversation occurred at the start of a set:

Them: We play four card majors and our doubles show an opening hand with 4+ cards in the suit bid.

Me (slightly incredulous): So you play penalty doubles?

Them: Well, he could only have four cards in your suit, so I might pull it.

Me (really rather confused): And this applies at the one level?

Them: Yes. But I wouldn't worry about it — it only comes up every three months or so.

Me: (Gleeful silence).

We lost the match. Now get back to your families and stop looking at the internet!