The setting this week is the prestigious Schapiro Spring Foursomes held in Stratford-upon-Avon. It's the first evening of a five-day double-elimination knockout tournament and the players gather for the first set. It's been a burning hot day and just as four England Internationals sit down to face each other, a raven flies in through the window, squawks twice in their direction and noiselessly leaves again. Could you make out the words "Poor Bridge" in its harsh call, or are you imagining things? Let's find out.

You're playing a weak NT and five-card majors and have the unenviable task of opening the bidding with this collection:

	8 7 3 2
	A K 8 2
	J 10 7 4
	A

Admittedly, not a pleasant choice. An off-centre 1? An off-shape 1NT? An off-length 1? Those blessed with the gift of foresight will see the problems that a 1 opening causes if partner decides to respond 2 (when not GF), but our hero throws caution to the wind and opens it anyway.

The inevitable 2 does comes along and now you want an undo. When the director rules this isn't allowed, you have a choice to make. What'll it be?

I really don't know what's best here, and I doubt you do too, which is why we wouldn't have opened the hand 1 in the first place. The player in question, though, decides to bid 2, thus showing at least 5-4 in the reds and usually 16+ points. Not quite what you're holding, but hopefully partner will just bid 3NT and somehow make it. Partner, though, has other ideas.

The bidding proceeds with partner bidding 4, alerted by you ("uh oh," he thinks). You sign off in 4 which partner alerts ("uh oh," you think). And then comes 4NT, Roman Keycard Blackwood. To recap:

West	North	East	South
Pass	1	Pass	2
Pass	2	Pass	41
Pass	42	Pass	4NT3
Pass	??

Notes
(1)	??
(2)	????
(3)	RKCB

Surely hearts are trumps and you therefore have three key-cards. So you show them with the systematic 5 bid.

You can't really be too pleased with developments so far, so what do you make of it when partner bids 5, a grand-slam try? Partner's saying that all the key-cards are present and he has second round control of spades, presumably the K in light of his diamond splinter. He's asking you to continue if you have any extras. Well, you've shown him three key-cards, a good hand and probably five diamonds so I wouldn't say you had much to spare, yet you decide to shove in a 6 bid anyway, and remind partner about the ace there. This is music to his ears and he bids 7 which, because you would prefer him declaring, you pass. The full bidding has been:

West	North	East	South
Pass	1	Pass	2
Pass	2	Pass	4
Pass	4	Pass	4NT1
Pass	52	Pass	5
Pass	6	Pass	7
AP

Notes
(1)	RKCB
(2)	0 or 3

We turn around to the opening leader now, who holds this hand:

	A 10 4
	10 7 6 5
	9 8 3
	J 7 6

Do you lead your Ace? On the one hand, you're playing against a pair who have represented England, and would surely not be bidding a grand slam missing a cashing ace. But against that, there's been no mention of a void spade in either hand. South has used RKCB (generally not advisable with a void) and North hasn't indicated a void in his bidding or responses to Blackwood. What do you do?

The full deal was this:

None Vuln Dealer W	8 7 3 2 A K 8 2 J 10 7 4 A
A 10 4 10 7 6 5 9 8 3 J 7 6		J 9 6 5 Q J 9 4 Q 2 10 9 3
	K Q 3 A K 6 5 K Q 8 5 4 2

As you can see, it doesn't matter if West leads the Ace or not and the grand comes tumbling down. West did well not to double, because oppo might then find 7 which needs the spade lead from East to take it off.

Needless to say, North thought 4 was a splinter and hearts were trumps. South thought it was natural and setting diamonds. So we had a poorly planned opening, two big overbids, a mystery trump suit and an International pair bidding a grand missing a cashing ace. Poor Bridge? You'll have to ask the raven.

Despite this being one of the strongest events of the English calendar, there was plenty of poor bridge being perpetrated, but nothing could beat what England U25 player Michael Byrne did on the Sunday evening at a local pub. For a bet, he had a pot of chocolate dessert dumped over his head and smeared in! Pictures do exist of this, but haven't yet found their way to this site (Mike, Ben, any chance?). And how much did he win for doing this? Ten pounds! Those present would gladly have put in a hell of a lot more.