This week's deal was played in the England U25 trials, where Neil Weller and I did atrociously overall. However, this absurd hand put a smile on our faces. The full deal was:

A not very long glance at the cards reveal that E/W have a cold 13 tricks in either no trumps or spades, and the very least you would expect is the small slam to be bid. Anyway, things didn't quite go according to plan for E/W, and if anyone can predict the final contract then they should probably get their head examined.

The problems started when West opened the hand with a multi 2, and Neil, sitting North, got to use the partnership's inventive defence. This was the auction:

After the multi 2, Neil decided to put in a frisky 2NT, which seemed to cause a fair bit of confusion for East, who decided in the end to pass. I duly put in 3 trying to find partner's suit, which gets doubled. This is passed by Neil as it is his suit and at this point if this is left in we are going to concede a 'fair few' points, although it turns out to be a good sac against the cold 7 or 7NT. This is not the case though because after a huge tank by East (again adding to my theory that thinking at the bridge table is never a good plan), he puts in 3. Presumably he was trying to find his partner's weak two. Anyway, by this stage the auction is in complete disarray and all that was left was for West to add the finishing touch by passing this out.

The expression on declarer's face when the dummy came down was priceless, with 3 just making, which added to the amusement. And the 17 IMPs collected were gratefully received as well, although not particularly useful in the end.